Chief Justice Refuses To Meet Congress Leaders, Cites 'Full Inbox And A Sourdough That Needs Turning'

NEW DELHI — In what legal scholars are calling the most significant snub to the Indian National Congress since the invention of the snub itself, Chief Justice of India Ramanujan Krishnamurthy Pillai IV formally declined a high-level meeting request from senior Congress leaders on Tuesday, citing a packed schedule that sources confirm includes, but is not limited to, a critical fermentation window for his sourdough starter, 'Constitutia.'

The three-page rejection letter, obtained exclusively by Ramming Rhino News, began with the words 'I regret to inform you' and ended with a handwritten note reading 'She needs to be turned at 4 PM or the whole thing is compromised. You understand.' Constitutional experts say the letter is historically unprecedented, though several noted it was 'remarkably well-formatted for someone who is apparently in crisis.'

'We requested a meeting in good faith to discuss matters of national importance,' said Congress spokesperson Dilip Bhatnagar-Mehrotra, visibly shaken at a press conference where he was flanked by seventeen colleagues all making the same concerned face. 'We did not anticipate the bread. Nobody anticipated the bread.' When pressed for further comment, Bhatnagar-Mehrotra stared into the middle distance for eleven seconds before walking away.

A spokesperson for the Supreme Court, one Dr. Archana Sreenivasan-Ghosh, Deputy Chief of Staff for Scheduling and Ambient Temperature Regulation, read a brief statement confirming the CJI's position. 'The Chief Justice is committed to justice, equity, and the rule of law. He is also committed to an active starter culture that took eighteen months to develop and will not, under any circumstances, be sacrificed for a meeting that could frankly be an email.' She then adjusted her spectacles, said 'Good day,' and left through a door that was not an exit.

Legal analysts at the Bangalore Institute for Judicial Temperament and Baked Goods noted that this is the third consecutive refusal the CJI has issued this quarter, the first two involving a bonsai tree that was 'at a delicate emotional juncture' and a competitive online chess match described in court filings as 'still technically in progress.' Senior Advocate Priyamvada Krishnaswamy told this reporter, 'There is a long tradition in our judiciary of maintaining independence from political pressure. What we are seeing now is that tradition, but with carbohydrates.'

At press time, Congress leaders had submitted a revised meeting request proposing they all simply come over and watch the bread, to which the Chief Justice reportedly replied with a single word: 'Fine.' A formal agenda has not been released, though sources say it will include a tasting portion and that attendees are expected to bring their own butter.